Have you battled with anger issues that have zapped your ability to create lasting joy? Have you noticed how much energy you don't have? Maybe you have a lot of energy, but you need a lot of caffeine, or someone to prove wrong to feel that full head of steam.
I battled anger induced depression for years, and I had no idea about the connection really. I knew I felt sad, but thought it was because other people were either stupid, lazy, or didn't understand ME. I didn't have an anger problem, THEY have a stupidity problem! Obviously, that was a complete lie to self. Of course, I was prescribed a highly dangerous SSRI, Paxil, that left me unable to feel, and completely out of touch with reality.
I quickly realized I was on my own in sourcing a solution, and thankfully, I found it. When I snapped out of my self induced trance, I became aware that my anger was keeping me exhausted (unless I was angry enough at someone or something), and essentially, I was actively creating my anger and subsequent exhaustion. This is hard to admit, but I was addicted to my anger, like a drug. I would use it like most people use 5 hour energy. Whenever I needed a boost, I found something to get pissed at. Trust me, it still happens, but not to the degree or length of time that it used to, and I no longer actively seek confrontations or adversaries. Thanks to some help from Buddha, Jesus, Paul Chek, and some forward thinking psychologists who weren't afraid to challenge the status quo, my healing was rapid and objectively noticeable. My energy and creativity became boundless. I realized I hated my career and was only staying for the retirement millions that wait for me in 35 years, if I lived that long.
Anger is a natural human emotion that arises when we feel frustrated, threatened, or powerless. Your personality has a direct affect on your relationship with anger, and mine is definitely hard wired to choose anger. Knowing that about yourself will expedite your turnaround. While it can be a healthy response to certain situations, uncontrolled anger can have negative effects on our energy levels and overall well-being. It's important to note that healthy expression of anger is necessary, yet we've been told anger is bad. Why? People, in general, have no real understanding on healthy expression, let alone expression of specific emotions. We tend to let it build by repressing, and then blow up disproportionately to the situation at hand. Then, we get a negative feedback loop, which discourages future expression, leading to more repression and blow ups, less energy and fewer dates or friends.
This is not medical advice, if you feel you have a diagnosable clinical condition, please handle it appropriately.
In this blog, we will explore the ways in which anger can drain our energy and provide five tips for managing anger more effectively. I've used these personally for years, along with lifestyle management to keep the anger to a healthy level.
Negative Effects of Uncontrolled Anger
Physical Exhaustion: When we experience intense anger, our body goes into a fight-or-flight response, which triggers the release of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. This can lead to physical exhaustion, fatigue, and a weakened immune system. You can also experience bodily aches, and tightness due to fight or flight muscles in the body chronically turned on. Low back and hip pain are common examples.
Mental Drain: Anger can also take a significant toll on our mental energy. When we are consumed by angry thoughts and feelings, it can be difficult to focus on anything else, leading to a lack of productivity and mental exhaustion. These unresolved feelings create a cycle of negative rumination which are actually there to help us source our problems. Don't avoid the hard feelings, face them head on and see what they're telling you.
Strained Relationships: Uncontrolled anger can damage our relationships with others, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. It can also result in a loss of trust, respect, and intimacy in our personal and professional lives. If we don't realize that our anger towards another, who is just protecting their own needs, is a cry for them to help us protect our needs, then we will continue to create negative relationship outcomes, more rumination, more stress hormones.....
Negative Self-Talk: Anger can also contribute to negative self-talk, which can lower our self-esteem and drain our energy. When we dwell on negative thoughts and beliefs, it can be difficult to find joy and fulfillment in our lives. This self talk will also be projected onto others, and that will conflate with items 1-3.
Increased Physiological Stress: Finally, uncontrolled anger can increase our overall physiological stress levels, which can have a wide range of negative effects on our health and well-being. Chronic stress has been linked to a number of health issues, including heart disease, stroke, and depression. Your digestion will suffer, which will reduce your bioavailability of all nutrients consumed, tax your glands and organs, sapping your energy. Your breathing pattern will speed up and constrict your belly area, which will further disrupt organ function, and other energy markers like glucose regulation and 02 saturation.
Tips for Managing Anger
Take a Time-Out: When you feel yourself becoming angry, take a step back and give yourself some space. This can help you to cool down and regain perspective on the situation.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can be a powerful tool for managing anger. By focusing on the present moment and observing your thoughts and emotions without judgment, you can develop greater self-awareness and control over your responses.
Identify Triggers: Understanding the situations or people that tend to trigger your anger can help you to anticipate and avoid these triggers in the future. Trace those triggers back to specific thoughts and beliefs you have around this particular thought. Ask yourself how the opposite of that belief could also be true. It's never our event that leads to us choosing anger. It's the thought and story behind the event. Knowing your core motivations of your base personality will help even more in dismantling your anger with the previously mentioned exercise.
Use Positive Self-Talk: When you find yourself becoming angry, try to reframe your thoughts in a more positive and constructive way. For instance, if you are cut off in traffic and you choose anger as a response. You may have a story narrative like "This guy is a total asshole. He obviously doesn't care about other people". Instead, try this inquisitive approach and ask yourself this: "what if this guy is not paying attention because he is busy raising his 3 kids by himself and he's busy taking care of his sick mother, and never makes time for himself." Now, be honest and ask yourself this: "Do I still think he is an asshole who doesn't care about other people, or am I choosing that because I get a dose of anger (energy) when I do?" This can help to shift your perspective and reduce feelings of anger and frustration.
Seek Professional Help: If you are struggling to manage your anger, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a mental health professional. A therapist can help you to develop coping strategies, identify triggers, and work through underlying emotional issues.
If you don't want to see a therapist, and would like coaching instead, I got you. I don't diagnose, and I don't treat depression, anxiety, or anger issues. What I do do is coach people who have depression, anger, or anxiety issues, using a Holistic Method to find what's missing in their life. Diet, exercise, creating happiness, and getting good sleep are all part of the tool kit.
In conclusion, uncontrolled anger can have significant negative effects on our energy levels, mental and physical health, and relationships with others. By developing effective strategies for managing anger, we can reduce these negative effects and cultivate a greater sense of peace, happiness, and fulfillment in our lives and get back that mental and physical energy we used to spend on reacting and ruminating.
I hope you found some value in that : )
Peace, Much Love, Live Well,
Coach Jerry
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