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The Big Lie To Self: False Core Keeps Us Frozen, Anxious and Angry. Source Anxiety, Anger, Sadness

Updated: Aug 13, 2023


Discalimer: This is not medical advice, a diagnosis, or treatment. This is my personal opinion and sharing of personal experience. If you feel you have a clinical condition, do what you need to do to be your best you.


Have you ever wondered what really makes people tick? Why do some people make such a big deal out of some things, yet remain completely detached from other things that other people find extremely important.


If situations in life are objectively good or bad, shouldn't we all respond to life's events in a relatively similar way? Have you noticed how many conflicts arise from this dynamic?


This is what I call "A clashing of core motives". In other words, in a disagreement, we don't have 2 people who don't see eye to eye per se. What may be more accurate is to say we have 2 people with different core motivations, and that's what they are guarding and what they are resisting is the other person's core motivations.


For Example, you may have a disagreement with your spouse over whether or not to buy organic food. One argument may be that organic food is "too expensive", while the other argument may be "your health is worth any monetary investment necessary." If we have 2 self preservationist types, and one has a core motivation in life to have an image of financial abundance, and the other has a core motivation of not being powerless and vulnerable due to failing health, then we can see how these 2 will not see eye to eye here.


Their Core Motivations will not let them.


Instead of an agreeable consensus, what is created is an energy loop we call conversation or argument. One person puts out an energy in word form coming from energy in thought form that came from energy in belief form, which was formed by core motives. Because the origin of this energy we call words is a motive and belief system, the words that come out actually matter very little (if you've ever said or heard "what I heard you say there is...", then you know what I'm getting at here.). What we're really doing is projecting an energy that states your core motivations. The other person with alternate motives does the exact same thing, the voices get louder, people get cut off, THE ENERGY LOOP GROWS HOTTER AND FASTER, both feel unheard and invalidated, and neither person gets their needs or motives met. The trick is to recognize what is happening, and to break that energy cycle with a pattern interrupt. A great one is to just restate what the other person has just said to you, tell them you sense they have a need, and to ask them how you can help get that need met. IE: "I can tell you are upset, and that you really need something right now. What do you need from me right now?" (read Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg for more on this method) This skill is second nature when you form a strong motivation to be integrated and recognize your essential nature.


Welcome to the false core.


In this blog post, we will explore the false core, its role as our organizing principle, and why recognizing its existence is vital for achieving lasting psychological well-being.

Unraveling the False Core: According to Stephen Wollinsky, the false core represents a distorted self-perception that develops early in our lives due to the narcissistic wound of realizing you and your mother are not one. This is a concept in Developmental Psychology known as the shock of realization of seperation. This sets the infantile mind into a lifelong pursuit of remerger with Mom and results in a set of beliefs, assumptions, and narratives that we internalize and use as a reference point to navigate the world. The false core is constructed from a collection of false conclusions about ourselves and our place in the world, which may include beliefs like "I'm unworthy," "I'm unlovable," or "I must always be in control."


Simply Put. Basically, at the age of 5-12 months, we realize we're separate from Mom, we have an already established merger strategy formed in utero, which helps us to rationalize why we've become separated. That irrational rationalization is what forms our false core, and ultimately our false self persona/personality. The false conclusion/irrational rationalization we form takes the form of a belief about ourselves and that's what we call the false core. Examples include, "there is something wrong with me", "I am not loved", "I am worthless, cannot do", "I am different, misunderstood", "I am incompent/rejected", "I am alone and unsupported", "I am incomplete, something is missing", "I am vulnerable and powerless", "I am seperate, not whole, unloveable"

Organizing Principle of Behaviors:

The false core becomes our organizing principle, shaping our thoughts, emotions, and actions. It influences how we perceive ourselves and others, the choices we make, and the way we relate to the world. Since the false core is deeply ingrained within us, it operates at an unconscious level, often leading to self-defeating patterns and psychopathologies. The false core becomes a gravitational field for our behaviors, thoughts and even emotions. Essentially, everything we do is in an attempt to maintain survival and then, to re merge with Mom, and that's why the false core can be so tricky. It takes on various other faces, we call distractors. Modern psych focuses on these distractors, aka schemas, but because they aren't tracing it all the way back to the false core, the interventions are often incomplete. This is why the Enneagram when combined with Quantum Psych's take on the false core, we see powerful leaps in growth and development.


For example:

An Enneagram type 6 person will have a false core of being alone, unsupported and a core motivation of being an authority to gain support by doing what's expected of them. As a type 6, hey are likely to create anxiety, fear, and counter phobic responses to life's events. Like all other enneagram types, this type 6 person has all 9 enneagram types within them. Each type will have it's own core motivations and false cores, but this individual will have just one where the buck stops everytime. Being an authority, and feeling supported, their false core. However, sometimes, a distractor comes into play. This is when another false core of one of the enneagram types gets loud in us. This is usually because we've found great value in that particular personality type in getting the core motivations of our base personality type met, in this case, the type 6 will be distracted by the pull of the type 1 false core distractor within them. This is fairly common with type 6's as they strive to do what's expected of them, while a type 1 will strive to do the right thing. There is often an overlap there. The false core distraction of the type 1 in them may inflame if they feel they did something wrong. (it creates fear because they see an opportunity to lose authority and support.) A schema surrounding getting things just right, or seeking perfection will likely form, it may cause distress as their core motivation of being an authority with support goes unmet because they didn't do the right thing or WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF THEM. This perfectionist trait may be treated in therapy as a disruption to their normal life.


The problem with the approach? The schema of perfection was developed as a viable strategy to gain authority and support, and it was likely mirrored to them by a parent who's false core was actually perfectionism. The correct approach here is to teach the type 6 that to the degree they need to feel like a supported authority to feel whole, that is the level of personal love, support and validation they are lacking. Like a vitamin, they are seeking supplementation from external sources to compensate for a lack of internal validation and support.


It's not hard to see how this situation plays out over and over again, and people experience some relief with addressing the false core compensators but not complete understanding and integration. In short, each person heals much faster when THEIR false core (schema/belief) is dismantled and integrated.

False Core and the Elusive Fix:

One of the reasons psychopathologies have been challenging to address effectively is that they are typically approached through surface-level interventions, focusing on symptoms, emotions, and cognitive schemas. While these aspects are undoubtedly important, they only scratch the surface of the problem. By not addressing the false core, we are neglecting the root cause, which perpetuates psychological distress and hinders true healing.

Distractions from the False Core: Wollinsky suggests that the modern world of psychology tends to get caught up in addressing distractions rather than delving into the depths of the false core. Schemas and emotions, although relevant, are often mere byproducts of the false core's influence. By solely concentrating on these secondary manifestations, we miss the opportunity to unearth the root cause of our suffering.

Embracing True Healing: To move toward true healing, Wollinsky proposes that we must acknowledge the existence of the false core and actively work to dismantle its influence. This process involves developing self-awareness, challenging our limiting beliefs, and replacing them with empowering truths. By unraveling the layers of the false core, we can free ourselves from its grip and open doors to genuine transformation and lasting psychological well-being. There are many effective ways to trace and dismantle the false cores effects. We call these fixation trances, and getting comfortable and proficient with the tracing process is critical to integration.


Send me an email if you'd like a specific article focused on how to dismantle your false core.

The False Core and The Enneagram In Stephen Wollinsky's transformative book, "The Tao of Chaos," he delves into the concept of the false core within each Enneagram type. By understanding these false cores and learning how to dismantle them, individuals can embark on a journey of self-discovery, growth, and liberation. In this blog post, we will explore the false core of each Enneagram type, its impact on our lives, and practical strategies to dismantle it, ultimately unlocking our true potential.

  1. The Perfectionist (Type One):

The false core of the Perfectionist revolves around the belief that they must be flawless and morally upright. To dismantle this false core, Ones can begin by embracing self-compassion and recognizing that perfection is unattainable. By practicing self-acceptance and cultivating a healthy balance between high standards and self-forgiveness, Ones can liberate themselves from the grip of their false core.

2. The Helper (Type Two):

The false core of the Helper is the notion that their worthiness is contingent upon the love and approval they receive from others. To dismantle this false core, Twos can prioritize self-care and develop a genuine sense of self-worth independent of external validation. By nurturing their own needs and setting healthy boundaries, Twos can break free from the false belief that their value lies solely in their ability to help others.

3. The Achiever (Type Three):

The false core of the Achiever revolves around the belief that their worth is tied to their achievements and external recognition. To dismantle this false core, Threes can cultivate a deeper connection with their authentic selves. By exploring their true desires and passions, rather than striving solely for external validation, Threes can discover a sense of fulfillment that transcends superficial success.

4. The Individualist (Type Four):

The false core of the Individualist centers around the belief that they are fundamentally flawed or lacking something essential. To dismantle this false core, Fours can embrace self-acceptance and focus on self-love. By recognizing and celebrating their unique qualities, rather than perpetually seeking validation from others, Fours can cultivate a genuine sense of wholeness and inner peace.

5. The Investigator (Type Five):

The false core of the Investigator is the idea that their worth depends on their knowledge and expertise. To dismantle this false core, Fives can cultivate emotional awareness and engage with the world beyond intellectual pursuits. By actively participating in meaningful experiences and nurturing social connections, Fives can expand their sense of self beyond their intellectual capacities.

6. The Loyalist (Type Six):

The false core of the Loyalist revolves around the belief that they must constantly seek security and rely on external authorities for guidance. To dismantle this false core, Sixes can cultivate self-trust and inner resilience. By acknowledging their own strengths and capabilities, and confronting their fears with courage, Sixes can break free from the grip of their false core.

7. The Enthusiast (Type Seven):

The false core of the Enthusiast lies in the belief that they must constantly seek pleasure and avoid pain or discomfort. To dismantle this false core, Sevens can cultivate mindfulness and embrace moments of stillness. By learning to be present with their emotions and facing life's challenges directly, Sevens can discover a more profound and sustainable sense of joy.

8. The Challenger (Type Eight):

The false core of the Challenger revolves around the belief that they must be strong and in control at all times. To dismantle this false core, Eights can cultivate vulnerability and compassion. By embracing their own emotional sensitivity and allowing themselves to be open and authentic, Eights can liberate themselves from the burdens of their false core.

9. The Peacemaker (Type Nine):

The false core of the Peacemaker lies in the belief that they must suppress their own desires and maintain inner harmony at all costs. To dismantle this false core, Nines can practice self-assertion and engage in healthy conflict. By honoring their own needs and expressing their opinions and desires, Nines can reclaim their sense of self and foster authentic connections with others.


Conclusion:

This is a beautiful system that brings peace and understanding back to your inter and intra personal worlds. I am 100% serious when I say you have to try this out.


Peace, Much Love, Live Well!

Coach Jerry




References: Personality Types by Riso-Hudson. Tao of Chaos, The Way of The Human Volume 2 by Stephen Wollinsky

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